It’s Saturday night. The kitchen is backed up, guests are getting impatient, and one of your strongest servers is starting to unravel. As the manager, you have a choice. You can step in, take over the table, and solve the immediate problem, or you can spend an extra minute coaching the server through it while keeping an eye on everything else happening around you.
Neither decision is necessarily wrong. But what determines which one you make?
Restaurant leaders make hundreds of decisions every shift, many without enough time to consult a manual, text their boss, or think through every possible outcome. We spend a lot of time teaching managers what to do in these situations. We spend far less time helping them understand what drives the decisions they make when there isn’t an obvious answer.
That is where values become an important part of leadership development.
Values Create Consistency Under Pressure
Leadership development typically focuses on capabilities like coaching, delegation, communication, accountability, and conflict resolution. Those skills are essential but knowing how to use a leadership tool and knowing when or why to use it are two different things.
Author and speaker Brant Menswar explores this connection between values, purpose, and intentional action in his books Black Sheep and Designing Momentum. At the center of his work is a challenge for leaders to identify the values they consider truly non-negotiable and use them to guide their decisions. The idea is simple, but its application can be powerful. When leaders understand what they refuse to compromise, they have an internal compass to help them navigate moments when the right decision is not immediately clear.
Think back to that busy Saturday night. A leader who values growth or capability may see the overwhelmed server as more than a problem that needs to be solved. They may see an opportunity to build someone's confidence by coaching them through the situation rather than immediately taking over.
That choice may take slightly longer tonight, but it could make the team stronger tomorrow.
Stop Solving Every Problem
This can be especially difficult in bars and restaurants because many of our best managers became leaders precisely because they were great problem-solvers. They could jump behind the bar, run food, calm an upset guest, fix a ticket, or rescue a struggling employee without missing a beat.
Those abilities may have helped them become managers, but leadership requires something different.
If the manager always becomes the solution, the team never develops the confidence to solve problems without them. Great restaurant leaders learn to recognize the moments when jumping in is necessary and the moments when developing someone else will create greater long-term impact.
That is how leadership begins to compound.
The server who was coached through a difficult situation may eventually become a shift leader. Months or years later, they may find themselves coaching another overwhelmed employee with the same patience and confidence as someone once showed them.
The original manager may never see that moment, but their influence is still there.
Your Impact Goes Beyond the Shift
Menswar describes this kind of lasting influence through a concept he calls the “2nd Life.” The idea is that our impact continues through the people whose lives we influence, and the momentum we create for others can extend far beyond our own careers.
That idea feels particularly relevant in the restaurant industry, where so many of us can name the manager who first believed in us, challenged us, gave us an opportunity we weren’t sure we were ready for, or simply took the time to show us a better way.
Those leaders probably don’t remember every conversation we had with them. But, we do.
Their influence shows up in how we coach, how we make decisions, how we treat people under pressure, and eventually how we develop the next person. In an industry where so many leaders begin their careers on the frontline, that influence can continue from one generation of restaurant leaders to the next.
That is leadership development in its most powerful form.
Three Questions Worth Asking
Restaurant leaders don't need another complicated leadership model to begin putting this into practice. Start with three questions:
- What are the values I refuse to compromise?
- When the pressure is highest, do my decisions actually reflect those values?
- Am I solving today's problems, or am I developing people who will be able to solve them tomorrow?
Sales, labor, speed of service and guest satisfaction will always matter. Restaurant leaders are responsible for delivering results, and values don't replace operational expectations. But how we achieve those results matters too.
Every difficult shift gives leaders a choice between simply getting through the moment and using the moment to make someone else better. When leaders understand the values behind those choices, they can become more consistent, more authentic, and more intentional about the impact they have on their teams.
The shift eventually ends. The influence we create in the people we lead can last much longer.
Philip Pinkerman is director of learning, talent acquisition and continued education at Good Food Holdings, parent company of Bristol Farms, Lazy Acres Natural Market, New Leaf Community Markets, New Seasons Market, and Metropolitan Market. He is an active member of the Council of Hotel and Restaurant Trainers. CHART is a vibrant association of 650+ hospitality training, L&D, and HR professionals from restaurant, foodservice and lodging operators. With a background spanning restaurant operations, training, and talent development, Pinkerman is passionate about connecting learning strategy to frontline realities, employee engagement, and measurable business impact. You can connect with him on LinkedIn at @philip-pinkerman.